Hello, World!
Waitā¦ how do you do this thing again?
I was on the drive home with my mother-in-law this morning when I suddenly had an idea of wanting to start a blog again. We were laughing about something my husband said earlier and how he was so worried about my appointment today despite it being a minor one. I donāt know why I decided to start with that but thatās actually what happened this morning and the first sentence is why weāre here.
If you know me (and Iām assuming you do because Iām only sharing this Substack thing first on Twitter and next to anyone who answers yes on my Instagram Poll - both of which are set to private), I had a personal blog I started back in 2011 but I shut it down in 2018 because I just felt like doing so. I was at a point where I just didnāt want to talk about my life publicly anymore (nuks, artista yarn?!?) and writing just felt like a chore. This isnāt the first time I thought about creating a personal newsletter though. When I was on the verge of wanting to start a Tinyletter, I just found out it was already shut downā¦ or it merged with Mailchimp or somethingā¦ and I was too lazy and not that 100% decided to research more about it. So yeah, that idea went just as fast as it came.
Thinking about it some more, one of the main reasons why I wanted to go back, created this Substack account 2h after, started writing this first post 5 minutes after deciding Iām going to name this thing āacupofraeā - is because I just miss writing. I used to write 5-8 blog posts in a month, create brain and emotional word dumps on my now-defunct Tumblr, write stuff on paper almost every day - heck, I almost considered it as a career before. I have always loved writing and somehow I just lost touch with it and only find myself writing when I feel an overwhelming want to do so.
The more I dwell on the main āwhyā of what this is supposed to be, I think about the fact that as you know (again, Iām assuming you do lol), I just recently moved to a new country and most of my friends and family are on the other side of the world aka the Philippines. Time zone difference is a monster - I should know after being tied to a job for 8 years with clients mostly in the US and Europe and being in an LDR for five years - and so sometimes I feel like I canāt always talk to my family and friends any time I want to.
I completely acknowledge the fact that I have never been good at maintaining friendships or any other relationships - platonic or not - over the years (I can expound on this some more in a later e-mail) and me not feeling the need to talk to friends every day is a proof of that. I canāt blame the pandemic and the lockdowns related to it. I know they werenāt the only culprits over the past two years but both of them just made my already bad social battery worse - it made me more isolated and exhausted that sometimes trying to start a conversation seemed to be a daunting task no matter who I needed or wanted to talk to. But for some reason, I can talk (or type) on and on and on about anything Iām interested or passionate about - while trying to just imagine Iām talking to someone. *pretends to look at an imaginary camera like Jim Halpert* I guess, by creating this newsletter, this is me trying to make that into a compromise and make up for the bad trait I am aware I have when it comes to starting and keeping conversations.
So whatās this thing going to be? Itās just whatever I want it to be.
As the newsletter name suggests, itās me just rambling about anything that I can think of - Raeās Ramblings. Life updates? Maybe. Random prose? Or even poetry? Wow, sana sipagin. Some reflections? Maybe a list of things Iām grateful for. Or magrarant lang ako sa inyo kasi hindi ko nagustuhan āyung movie na pinanood ko (siyempre joke lang kasi ayoko ng spoiler). TV show, book, podcast recos? Basically, chop suey lang talaga. Itās just going to be a reflection of how I am IRL - a chaotic, moody, and talkative person with a penchant for a lot of things. No guaranteed schedules so that I wonāt feel like this is a chore but Iāll pop up in your inbox once in a while when I feel like writing - no need to worry about spammy e-mails.
Moving on from that veeery lengthy intro and before I end this, Iām adding a currently list I used to do a lot when I was blogging (with some slight tweaks). If anything, this will probably be a regular thing here and Iām going to add more small segments eventually.
Raeās Currently List
Watching: Paramore 2022 live videos on Youtube - I really want to see them live next year.
Reading: Kindle: The Meaning of Marriage, Timothy Keller; Audiobook: Maybe In Another Life, Taylor Jenkins
Thinking about: what digital planner Iāll be using for next year
Listening to: Apple Musicās Phoebe Bridgers Essential Playlist
Hyperfocusing on: building my own personal knowledge management system
And hereās a quick photo while Iām writing this (and to prove that complimentary close is not a lie):
I may include more photos eventually when I feel like sharing some more. But for now, I need to end this because this post information thingy in Substackās text editor is telling me this is already going to be a 5-minute read.
If you reached this part right here, Iām guessing youāre either my Mom or my sister, or youāre just a really great friend whoās genuinely interested in my life and I appreciate you. I promise, not all the e-mails Iām going to send are going to be as long as this one. ;)
Sipping on a 350ml glass of water because I want to reach my water goal,
Rae